Bad, Bad Office Coffee

We in the United States drink coffee. Coffee is a symbol of our freedom. It all started when we dumped British tea in Boston Harbor. Since the French were our allies in the war against the British we adopted their national drink; coffee. Ok, I’m kind of making this up but you see my point. Coffee is the lifeblood of the U.S. economy. If you want to see the U.S. economy plummet, have the government ban coffee. Whoa Boy!! Look out!

If you accept my theory (which is questionable), how did we go from rich, dark, French coffee to crappy, watery, light brown office coffee? Coffee should not be light, see-through, brown! In my humble yet monkey-brained opinion, office coffee is the worse possible kind of coffee. Instead of spending a little more on Starbucks, Caribou, Seattle’s Best or some other good quality coffee, the Office Dwellers have decided that monkey’s get low-grade coffee.

Management sees coffee like a college student sees beer. A college student doesn’t care about the taste of beer; he’s looking for the effect. That effect is pure drunkenness. Your management doesn’t care about the taste of coffee. They are after the effect. That effect is keeping you awake and productive. Just as the college student will by the cheap beer for the effect, management buys cheap coffee for the effect.

My advice…buy a coffee maker, bring it to work and brew your own! Monkeys deserve good coffee!